I hope Jeff Foxworthy doesn’t mind if I steal his “You might be a redneck” concept for a humorous look at writing. Without further ado, I present: You might be a writer if…
1) If you spend more money on books than you do on groceries, you might be a writer.
2) If conversations take place inside your mind with imaginary characters, you might be a writer.
3) If you’ve ever left a movie theater and said, “The book was better,” you might be a writer.
4) If someone has ever said something mean to you and your first thought was, “How I can put this person in a story so I can kill them off,” you might be a writer.
5) If you’ve ever stayed up till three in the morning so you could finish writing “just one more paragraph,” you might be a writer.
6) If every time you read a book, magazine, or news item and your mind subconsciously corrects all the grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes, you might be a writer.
7) If someone says, “Let’s go look at the stars,” and the first thing you do is check your reviews on Amazon, you might be a writer.
8) If your body goes into convulsions every time you hear the word “edit,” you might be a writer.
9) If the people you admire most have last names such as: Tolkien, Rowling, Feist, Patterson, James, Steel, Evanovich, Grisham, Kinney, Roberts, Kuntz, Meyer, or Martin, you might be a writer.
10) If you own more library cards than credit cards, you might be a writer.
11) If you’ve spent more money on give-away swag than you’ve earned in royalty checks, you might be a writer.
12) If you can’t walk across the room without stepping on a book, you might be a writer.
13) If you can operate a Kindle, Nook, or iPad, but don’t know how to use the television remote, you might be a writer.
14) If you’re afraid to leave the house without a pencil and pad because you never know when “inspiration may strike,” you might be a writer.
15) If you’ve spent more than an hour thumbing through a Thesaurus looking for that one perfect word, you might be a writer.
16) If you find yourself correcting the graffiti on public restroom walls, you might be a writer.
17) If you start each prayer before a meal with, “Once upon a time,” you might be a writer.
18) If you’ve ever said, “Who should I make this out to,” when a restaurant server handed you the menu, you might be a writer.
19) If you can look at a blank page and see an infinite number of interesting characters, magical creatures, twisting plots, and undiscovered worlds, you ARE a writer!
I hope I made you smile. Until next time, thanks for believing!